Cheezy Corn Casserole

Let's just get this out of the way: this is an indulgent holiday recipe and it's full of processed food. But it's delicious and I'm sure you'll survive if you only eat it a few times a year. It's still vegan. What's more, your non-vegan holiday guests will not complain that you're serving them weird vegan health food if you serve this at a party. Everyone loves cheezy gooey casseroles and nobody likes a complainer.

Cooking soundtrack: Testament - Disciples of the Watch

You will need:

1 large mixing bowl

1 colander or strainer

1 8x8 or 9x9 baking dish

Aluminum foil

1 Mahatma Yellow rice package, cooked according to directions -OR- an equivalent amount of cooked saffron rice

3/4 tub of Tofutti brand Better than Sour Cream (use the rest on tacos!)

2 cans of organic corn

Dash of Tapatio, Cholula or Tabasco hot sauce

1 package of shredded Daiya Cheddar Cheese

1 T melted Earth Balance

Directions:

Prepare your Mahatma rice and set it to the side to cool off a bit.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees and pour the melted Earth Balance into the baking dish. This will grease the pan and give the casserole a nice buttery flavor.

Now, drain your corn and rinse it really well. Tap the colander or strainer you're using really well to drain as much of the water out as possible.

Mix the rice, corn and Daiya Cheddar together in the mixing bowl. Add 3/4 of the tub of Tofutti Better Than Sour Cream and dash of hot sauce last, mixing well. Spread the mixture into the casserole dish, pat it down, and cover it with foil. It's ready to go in the oven! 

Bake it covered for 45 minutes. 

                                                  Oh, yeahhhh! That looks so good!


Disciples of the Watch is a song about the movie Children of the Corn. It was the only metal song I could find that vaguely referenced corn! (Besides that horrible band Korn but let's not go there.)

Yams! Don't Fear Your Roots...

Yams have a bad reputation as a yucky holiday food because of the disgusting, canned version of them that sits botchulating* on grocery store shelves, month after month.  It seems that many hosts have wrongfully served this foul, canned yam abomination at holiday dinners and frightened their guests from ever eating yams at a holiday meal again. But yams are actually really awesome! You just have to prepare them from scratch. So throw out the canned yams and set aside your prejudices. This recipe takes time but it's not difficult and the ingredients list is short.

Cooking Soundtrack: Arch Enemy - Root of All Evil 

You will need:

A food processor - OR - a potato masher, force of will, and the time and patience to mash the yams with your own strength
A pot full of water for boiling yams
2 medium sized yams (they need to fit in the pot you are boiling them in)
An 8 x 8 or 9 x 9 baking dish
1/4 C Earth Balance
1 T sugar
Dash of sea salt
1/3 C light coconut milk
Vegan Marshmallows such as Dandies Brand (if you hate marshmallows, just leave them off)

                                   You can see I've already eaten half the bag. They're dandy!

Start by boiling water. Add the yams and boil them for 20 - 25 minutes, turning them halfway through. Drain the yams, and let them cool completely to the touch. 

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. After the yams are cool, peel them, slice them, and throw them in the food processor with the rest of the ingredients, except for the marshmallows. Process the yams until they are are pureed, scraping down the sides with a spatula repeatedly. 

Once pureed, spread the yams in the baking dish and bake covered for 30 mins. Remove the yams after 30 minutes and top with marshmallows, then place uncovered in the broiler for 2 to 3 minutes. Don't leave them unattended as they will burn quickly.

Once your marshmallows are browned your yams are done! Sorry, no photos this time. The yams were eaten immediately.

*botchulating:  when a food becomes increasingly contaminated with botulism bacteria

Awesome Pecan Pie Recipe

Time to suffer with the family!! Thanksgiving is almost here but this pecan pie recipe will help to get you through the holidays. Even if your curmudgeonly relatives conveniently forget to make anything vegan for Thanksgiving you can still eat some awesome pecan pie! This is an eeeasy pie recipe. Since it's made with agave nectar it's also low on the glycemic index so even your cranky diabetic Great Uncle Fester can have a slice.

Cooking Soundtrack:  Kreator - Command of the Blade (This song is appropriate for any recipe that involves a food processor.) 

You will need:
A food processor
1 recipe pie crust
2 1/2 cups raw pecan halves
2/3 C agave nectar
2 T molasses
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/8 teaspoon nutmeg
1 T cornstarch
2 T raw cashews, soaked for at least 2 hours or scant 2 T raw cashew butter

Bake your pie crust according to the recipe. A recipe for gluten-free pie crust can be found here. If you want to use regular pie crust, I suggest consulting the Veganomicon for a worthy recipe.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees.

While your pie crust is cooling, drain your cashews and grind them up in the food processor until they're crumbly or pasty. 
Next, put 2 cups of your pecans in the food processor and pour the agave nectar and molasses over them. Sprinkle the cinnamon, nutmeg, and cornstarch over the mixture as evenly as possible to avoid clumps. If you're using cashew butter instead of whole cashews, toss it in the food processor now.  Pulse a few times until the nuts are chopped and coated.  Now, take a spatula and gently stir the ingredients inside the food processor to get the agave-molasses mixture evenly distributed.  Put the last 1/2 cup of your nuts in the food processor and pulse twice to coat them with the mixture. You want some large pecan pieces in the pie. It looks nice that way.

Scrape the filling into the pie shell and smooth it down with your spatula. Make sure you cover the edges of the pie with foil or a pie crust shield so it doesn't burn and pop it in the oven (the middle rack is the best place for your pie). Bake it at 350 degrees for 30 minutes.

Seems like torture but you need to let the pie cool for at least 10 minutes before you cut it so it doesn't fall apart. Now eat it!

**Did you know that Mille from Kreator is vegan? True story!**

Gluten-Free Pie Crust

You can be gluten-intolerant/Celiac diseased and still have pie. It's your holiday right! This pie crust is  more like really thin shortbread than a traditional flaky pie crust so those freaks who don't like traditional pie crust may actually eat this crust instead of leaving it on the plate and incurring your wrath.

Soundtrack for Cooking:  Amebix - Drink and Be Merry (check out some crust while you bake your crust!)

Important Note:  Refrigerate all of your ingredients, even the flours!
You Will Need:

2 forks (for mixing)
1 large mixing bowl
1 pie tin
3/4 C brown rice flour
3/4 C sorghum flour
1 T sugar (I use organic sugar or sugar in the raw for all of my recipes)
1 teaspoon apple cider vinegar
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/3 C Earth Balance
1/4 C cold water, plus 1 or 2 T extra water, if needed

In your mixing bowl, combine all of the dry ingredients. Mix 'em up! Now add the Earth Balance in small pieces and mix/mash it into the dry ingredients with your forks. Yes, it requires some elbow grease. Add the Earth Balance in a tablespoon at a time and mix it in until you have a crumbly, fall-apart dough. Now, combine the vinegar with the water and pour it into the dough a tablespoon at a time.  Mix the dough in between each addition of water. Mix, mash, mix! Give it a couple minutes of mixing before you decide whether or not you need that extra tablespoon or two of water. It takes this dough a while to get going.

When the dough will hold together in a giant ball, it's ready to get some kneading. This dough will not hold together like regular pie crust dough. It will break into pieces when you knead it. That's normal. After a good 30 seconds to one minute of kneading, wrap the dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate it for one hour.

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees before you take your pie crust out of the refrigerator.
After your one hour of torturous waiting is over, take that crust outta the fridge and roll the hell out of it with a rolling pin or a clean wine/whiskey bottle. Make sure you flour your rolling surface first or your dough will stick to your counter top. When your dough is roughly 1/5 to 1/6 inch thick, gently pick it up in large pieces and press it into your pie tin. It will inevitably break apart into smaller pieces. That's ok, just smush it together. Continue to lay large pieces in your pie tin and smush them together at the seams, as seen below.

 Take any remaining small pieces and fill in any cracks or holes. Try to keep the thickness even throughout the crust. When you've reached "good enough" status, pop it in the oven for about 12 minutes. Turn on your oven light and check it at 10 minutes just in case it begins to brown too quickly. After 12 minutes, take it out of the oven. It's done!